Come and Work for the Council

Saw this ad on FB:
Auckland Council

Launch your career with us! Graduate and intern opportunities available – apply now.

Home – Auckland Council Careers
careers.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz

Here was my comment:

Yes, if you have no ambition, like the idea of going to ‘work’, putting your voicemail on and putting your feet up, this is the job for you.
 
If you like the idea of stopping others from doing anything, and contributing nothing yourself, you’ll fit right in here.
 
If you are lethargic, low on energy and basically unemployable, we’ll have you. If you don’t fit this criteria, come and work here for 5 years and you will! We’ll train you in every aspect of our non-caring, non-helping and don’t-give-a-rats culture.
 
Why work for some private outfit that will have you running around like a blue ar*ed fly, come work for us and have a nice peaceful life. Where time spent dealing with pesky customers is kept to a minimum.
 
No selling required. No initiative required (in fact this is actively discouraged). No performance targets. No budgeting required (we have unlimited funds thanks to the ratepayers – we’ll just get more next year). And the best bit is your not accountable to anyone, for anything.
 
Oh and there’s plenty of time for hobbies whilst at work. So if you like to surf the internet, or endlessly do your nails, our relaxed workplace allows you to have this ‘personal’ time. After all, we can just employ 3 others, and all 4 of you can do 1 job. We’re at an all time staffing level high, and going for broke!
 
So come and ‘work’ for us, bring your friends and family, we’ll have a ‘job’ for them too, nudge nudge, wink, wink.